October 31, 2012

Day 31: Hope. Truth. Gratitude.

31 days ago, I began this challenge among more than a thousand others. I am not sure why I did, or that I was remotely qualified to do so, but I'm glad I did. I don't know if many are out there reading, or just a few, but that's not what matters most. I am on a journey. A crazy, rollercoaster journey.  This little blog is helping me sort through it a little easier, and doing anything difficult is often much less overwhelming when not done alone.

So, because these three things are what brought me to this challenge in the first place...

Oh, hope! I am in awe of you. Hope can lift the curtain on the dreariest day to let in a tiny ray of sunlight. My heart is filled with hope. With every ounce of my being, I have faith that we will bring our babies home. I have faith that while we are already parents, we will rebuild our family here on Earth and will hold the babies we've longed for so deeply in our arms. I have faith that our hearts will mend, though scars will always be with us. I have hope that we will find our spark. Through everything we've been through and for all that we will endure in the future, I have HOPE.

The truth is, I am scared. I don't know what the future holds and I want to know so badly that it's all going to work out. I don't know for sure, but that doesn't stop me from trusting that it will. Truthfully, I have more to worry about now than I ever did before, and yet I somehow worry less. The truth? I still get angry, sad, and frustrated. I just try to focus on those things less on the positive things more. I am flawed in many, many ways. Embracing those imperfections has helped me to accept the things I cannot change. I pray for the courage to change those that I can, and I long for the wisdom to know the difference.  


31 Reasons to be Grateful:
1.Life. period.
2. My husband. My heart.
3. The best family we could ever ask for.
4. The sweetest, most supportive friends.
5. God's unyielding love.
6. Guardian Angels. All of them.
7. A roof over our heads.
8. Cozy bed to sleep in.
9. Food in abundance.
10. Clothes on our backs.
11. Sadie.
12. Bailey.
13. Our sweet nieces.
14. Jobs. With all imperfections included.
15. Laughter.
16. Rainbows.
17. Strength.
18. Dreams.
19. Weekends.
20. Freedom.
21. Autumn.
22. Winter. Spring. Summer.
23. Today.
24. Encouragement.
25. Prayer.
26. Love. In all its powerful forms.
27. Mistakes.
28. Learning. In all its powerful forms.
29. Truth.
30. Hope.
31. YOU.

I want to keep writing. I want to grow and be better and achieve the dreams and goals we've made. I want you to follow along. I want to hear from you and learn from you and be inspired by you. I covet your prayers and seek your positive thoughts all along the way and am grateful beyond words for every single one. Thank you for taking this challenge with me!

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