February 24, 2015

Dear Baby--9 Weeks

Dear Baby,

I am writing this at the very end of your ninth week! You are 10 weeks tomorrow. Thank you, God! What a big week you've had, my darling love. First of all, you are the size of a grape this week and we actually had the amazing opportunity to SEE what you look like this week! You've had a few ultrasounds so far, but this one is the first time to see you in 4D. How completely amazing.
Here's you at 9 weeks, 1 day.
Be still my heart. There you are! Life is such a miracle and you, my dear, are everything. I can't wait to kiss those sweet cheeks and toes in September.

At your checkup this week you are measuring exactly on track, and you have the most beautiful, strong heartbeat of 170 bpm. I am so thankful for you. 

At 9 weeks you can clasp an object placed in the palm of your hand, and your fingerprints are already evident in your skin. 

You are one loved little miracle! You have so many people praying for you and loving on you from afar. We received two packages this week with the sweetest gifts from the Theos and the Pattersons. Mommy cried and cried at the way you've touched the lives of so many already. 

 And, Daddy and I went shopping at Patagonia's end-of-season sale. This is hilarious, because it's not remotely close to being the end of winter in NYC, but anyway... have you ever seen anything so sweet? This little vest will be for when you're 3 months old and it's just so tiny and precious. Makes my heart go pitter patter. 
10 weeks tomorrow, my sweet! Keep growing big and strong. We're so proud of you.

We love you so, Dear Baby.

Mommy and Daddy

February 13, 2015

Dear Baby--Weeks 4,5,6,7,8

4 Weeks
Dear Baby,
Today you said your first 'here I am' to the world. We found out after midnight on January 13th, so technically January 14th, that our IVF cycle was successful and we are expecting YOU.
I taped a little awkward, but from-the-heart video the day after we found out. We are in shock and our hearts are already overflowing with the love we have for you. A's levels were tested twice this week and we were so relieved so see good numbers and that they were rising appropriately. We're so proud of you and you cannot imagine how hopeful we are and how deeply we yearn to meet you in September. Our world is changed because you are now in it.
We love you so, dear baby.
Mommy and Daddy
5 Weeks
Dear Baby,
This week your heart begins to beat! We had the first ultrasound this week, right at 5 weeks, which is pretty much the earliest one might be able to see anything on an ultrasound. The doctors saw a well defined gestational sac and yolk sac, and we were told it's too early to see the fetal pole and heartbeat. We are so thankful you're in there, baby! Even though we can't see it yet, and you're the size of a poppyseed, we know you're doing lots of growing this week. My aunt Laurie sent you your very first gift this week. She sent you the most precious, thoughtful gift and I sat at the kitchen table and sobbed while reading it. She even had the author write you a very special note on the inside. I know I will always cherish this special gift from your great auntie, and I hope it helps explain how our family came to be with you. We'll have a follow-up ultrasound next week! We're already dreaming of your future and we talk about you non-stop, wondering what you're up to 7, 7786 miles away.
We love you so, dear baby.
Mommy and Daddy
 To baby Guy-Have a wonderful life and never stop believing in fairy stories.
6 Weeks
Dear Baby,
You are about the size of a lentil this week. It was a great week for us, because of you. At the follow-up ultrasound, the doctor saw a well defined yolk sac, fetal pole and rapid heartbeart! Praise God! We also shared the news that we are expecting you with more friends near and far, and were completely overwhelmed by the support we've received. You have people from all over the world praying for you and are so happy you're on your way. I hope that you can feel our love from across the ocean, and I know that you're in such capable hands until we get to you. Keep on growing strong, my darling. 
We love you so, dear baby.
Mommy and Daddy  
7 Weeks
Dear Baby,
This week you are about the size of a blueberry. Mommy was a little anxious this week because we didn't hear until Friday how the ultrasound went. You can imagine my relief when I woke up to see that you are measuring on track, AND your heartbeat was heard at this appointment! It is a strong one, at 141bpm. Goodness I know that is the sweetest sound, and while I wish I was there to hear it for the first time, I'm just thankful you gave us such good news again. Keep growing strong, my sweet. We are praying for you all day, everyday!
We love you so, dear baby.
Mommy and Daddy
8 Weeks
Dear Baby,
This week you are about the size of a kidney bean. A has gone back to be with her family, so you've gone with her, too, of course. She will come in this week for a check-in, but won't have an ultrasound. I ordered this crib sheet for you this week--I just couldn't resist. It brings me so much joy to do what I can to prepare for your arrival. Keep growing big and strong! We're so proud of you.
We love you so, dear baby.
Mommy and Daddy

February 12, 2015

Q&A about our Surrogacy Journey So Far

You Guys. Words cannot adequately express our gratitude for all of your beautiful words, thoughts, and prayers on our last post. I cried while reading every word, and it makes me so happy to know that our baby is so Loved. With a capital L.

SO-lots to catch up on! I want to share this journey with our little baby one day, so I'll be writing weekly notes to baby G. I'm going to play catch up and post those tomorrow. But first, a few questions answered:

1) Will you find out the baby's gender?
We will not, as it is strictly not allowed in India. So, we're excited for a delivery day surprise! I am envisioning a navy and white nursery, with pops of color after baby arrives. OH, and we're going to add elephants to the nursery because they are such a huge part of the Hindu religion. When we were there, we picked up some special ones and decided right then and there that we'd add elephants to the nursery as a special reminder. They represent Ganesh, who is the remover of obstacles. Meaningful to us in so many ways.

2) Where is your surrogate living?
Our surrogate, an angel we will call A, stayed at the clinic until 7 weeks. At that point, she returned home with her family. She will now return weekly for check-ins, ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc.

3) Are you able to speak with your surrogate?
We receive weekly updates on how she is doing, and know all of the details of the care she and baby are receiving. There is a language barrier and a 10 1/2 hour time difference, but we are able to Skype with her and the team all throughout the pregnancy.

4) When are you due?
We are due September 21st, though we're told that because the surrogates are so petite, she is more likely to carry to 38 weeks. That brings us to around September 7th.

5) When will you return to India?
We haven't made definite plans yet, but likely the very beginning of September. We'll be ready to go sooner, and if we get such a call, will leave on the first flight available.

6) Will you be there for delivery?
Yes! God willing, we'll be right there as baby enters the world.

7) How are you feeling? Are you anxious?
I'm feeling abundantly blessed. It definitely is different, walking around like normal while your baby is growing in India--but I can do it. I have felt anxious while waiting to hear news--how the bloodwork came back, how this ultrasound went and then that one. But, I can say that I feel such peace knowing that God's got this. I don't have to worry over the details because He's got them under control. It takes some self-motivating and lots of prayer, but I know in my heart that our baby is in the right place, and so are we. I can't find the words to describe what it feels like, other than to say that it is surreal. It likely will not feel real until we return to India and meet our baby, and that's fine. I'm just so thankful and knowing that so many people are praying for our baby before s/he arrives is just the sweetest thing. I can't wait to tell him or her how much of a village it truly took to bring him/her into the world. And how worth it I know it will be.

8) There is so much that you don't get to experience and you still remain positive. How?
I just don't think there is any room to feel anything other than gratitude. If I could, would I carry our child? Of course. We didn't get here overnight. This has been a battle we've been fighting for close to five years. I'm so dang thankful to have this opportunity, and that my baby is growing safely and being cared for by a competent, loving team. And I know that we will provide for and give our child more love than even we can possibly imagine once s/he arrives. Until then, we cover baby in prayer and love and know what matters is that baby gets here safely, into our arms. So. unbelievably. thankful.

I wish I could hug you all. Thank you very much for caring about us and our baby, and we ask that you continue to keep our little one and our surrogate, A, in your prayers for a continued smooth, healthy, uneventful pregnancy. Thank you, a million times over!

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