Hi! I'm Margot. I am a twenty-something wife to the man of my dreams. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Pretend Chef. Teacher. Believer. Mother.
Welcome to Find Your Spark. However you found us, I'm so glad you are visiting our little corner of the world. Thank you for following along with us on our journey. Allow me to start from the beginning:
All Because Two People Fell in Love...
On September 22nd, 2006, my soulmate walked into my life. It was love at first sight {no, it doesn't just happen in the movies} and the rest is history. Well, history in the making, I should say. I knew he would be the man I'd marry instantly-true story. And, so he was. On August 21, 2008, he popped the question and through tears and laughter, I said yes!
Soon after our wedding, we became proud homeowners of our first house.
Our pup, Sadie, loved her new
It wasn't long after we settled into our home that we were ready to expand our family. We've always been a couple who has envisioned children, names, and our future from the get-go. It was a natural step for us to take.
On March 1, 2011, our world changed forever.
We cried. We prayed. We rejoiced. We dreamed.
It was very early in the pregnancy that we discovered we were double-blessed. Identical twins! Words simply cannot describe the elation and fullness felt in my heart. I will never forget that feeling.
I began a blog about our babies. You can read about our precious journey together here.
Our hopes, dreams and world came crumbling down around us on the day we found out we had lost our babies. We went in to find out if we could expect boys or girls, and we walked out shattered. Devastation does not even begin to scratch the surface. I wrote the details of our story here and here.
I thank GOD every day that we were chosen to be the parents of our baby angel boys, Eli and Michael. I would rather have one minute of life with our babies than none at all. They have transformed our lives immeasurably and the impact they have on others will continue forever. I know they are watching over us and I pray that we make them proud everyday here on earth.
I do not understand why they are not here. I cannot understand why I will never rock them to sleep, capture their first steps, or watch them grow and thrive. I'll never understand why I am not busy preparing for our due date, 11/11/11. I do not understand why we were not able to keep them here on earth longer. It's not for me to understand. When I get to Heaven, I will ask. :)
Since losing our twins, we have gone on to experience the loss of a baby girl, named Kate, and suffered two other miscarriages following that. It has been a long and arduous road that we are still on. Through prayers, patience and perseverance we continue on.
Our lives changed forever on the day we found out we were pregnant. We fell in love instantly with the beautiful souls we created and it warmed my heart to see our future taking shape. Our lives changed forever again on the day we said goodbye too soon to our angels. Much too soon.
I now see life as everything that happened before we lost our babies, and everything that happened after. To proceed as "normal" is to say that our lives were not impacted by our twins. To resume life before we lost them is to say that our babies never happened. That isn't possible. My heart will never fully mend and it shouldn't. It can't.
So, here we are. Find Your Spark came to be as I was desperately trying to ignite my spark for life. My hope is that through writing and moving through grief, I'm able to hang on to hope for the future. I hope to honor my children and keep their legacy alive. I pray that this blog follows us along our bumpy road and takes us through brighter days, lots of love, and giggling babies.
As I seek my spark, I will write about anything and everything that brings joy to my life. Some days, I will write about my grief and our journey. Others, I will write about hope. Some days I will blog about a yummy recipe and others I will write about favorite products and. Random, yes. I will not give up. I will keep fighting. I will live a life that makes my sweet babies proud.
I hope that through walking along with us, you are able to find and ignite your spark, too. Whatever it may be, keep shining. Thank you for being here and following along with us. We can feel your love and support and are hanging onto your prayers.
UPDATE: We made a BIG move to New York City! Follow along as I write about our adventures as a couple from the south try to find their way in a small apartment, with two dogs and the fun things we get into along the way.
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