August 12, 2011

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

I mentioned yesterday that I believe a very important part of my grieving process is connecting with others. Searching through other blogs has led me to many wonderful resources. The thought came to my mind the other day: if I find it so comforting to know that I'm not alone, maybe, just maybe, I can also provide comfort to someone also experiencing the loss of their babies. Maybe part of my healing will actually come from helping others in their healing. I'm not sure, but I'm certainly willing to give it a try.

Part of connecting with others, of course, means sharing my story. Some people have {very sweetly} called me brave for doing this. I don't feel brave at all. I just feel that I need to document what we have gone through, are going through, and will go through in the future. There isn't a how-to-handle-losing-your-twin babies-and-still-go-on-with-your-normal-life manual, though I wish there was. I'm learning there isn't a "right" way to feel or handle grief. Whatever you are doing is right for you. I'm finding that part of it, for me, is writing.

The reasons I'm sharing my story are to 1)work through my grief and get in touch with healing and hope,  2) help family and friends keep up with how we're doing, 3) show others, whose faces I may not know, that they are not alone. 4) Keep our sons' legacy alive. They have changed our lives for the better, and I hope that through sharing our story they will touch your lives positively, as well.

I stumbled upon a site called Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope and I sure am glad that I did.

Here's a little about the site:Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope is a place for us to come together and share our stories and our faces with others who may be looking for reassurance that they are not alone. You can read more about it here .

After reading (with a box of tissues in hand) the many, many stories of those who have experienced loss in different ways, I felt compelled to write my story. It was the first time I had written it in such detail, but I wanted to do it. It is hard for me to read, and it may be hard for you to read, but it's out there. Well, this site featured my story today, and I would be honored if you'd read it.

Everyone handles their grief differently. Some cannot imagine learning about the stories of others when our story is sad enough. But, it's not that way with me. I want to know how people survive. I want to see how they honor their children. I want to see how they rebuild their lives. For me, it gives me hope. Of course it is sad, but it's going to be sad regardless of whether or not I seek out the stories of others. I'm glad you're here reading this because I know you are choosing to show your support.

Even though we've been through the ringer, I still count my blessings everyday. They are truly all around us. And I know that our work here is not done. I've got to live a life that will make my babies proud. They can't be here to experience all of life's blessings, but I can. I am here. I can let them live through me. Thinking about that makes me smile.


Rachel said...

I'm praying for y'all daily! That last paragraph is really perfect- you are making them proud every day, I'm sure. You will help so many others who have had similar experiences.

Annie said...

I know you will help so many others. You're such a caring and naturally nurturing person! Thinking of yall!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Margo, for sharing so much of yourself with us. You will, indeed, help many others, and through those of us who are following your blog, you'll touch additional lives as well. Love and prayers, Lori Carter

Jessica said...

I am so sorry for the loss you have and are experiencing. You are one of the kindest people that I have met. In sharing your blog I know that it will give hope and strength to not only you but any who read it. I pray that God will bless you and your family. I miss you!

Suz said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm a college friend of B aka Annie's & found your blog through her.
I will keep y'all in my thoughts & prayers. I hate that you are going through this. I will say that the bloggy world is an awesome support system & you will find such strength & encouragement here. We've been trying for 22 cycles to conceive & some of my bloggy friends are my biggest infertility cheerleaders.

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