August 11, 2011

Empty Arms

Did you think I forgot about the bloggie? Never. I have had a lot on my mind but haven't been sure exactly how to articulate it. We decided to start spreading Find Your Spark a little further last week and I am completely blown away by your support. It's a risk to put yourself out there, but I've found through this process that I am encouraged by the army of support behind us. WOW is all I can say. Whether you know it or not, every comment, thought, prayer, wish, lifts us up. Knowing that so many others care about us deeply and want to follow along with us on our journey is truly amazing.

Part of my grieving process involves connecting with others and gathering strength and hope from their stories and triumphs. Blogging has opened up an entirely new world to me. I am able to connect with people who, otherwise would be complete strangers, though we aren't. We have something in common that we wish we didn't. We are members of an elite country club we never wanted to join. Knowing I'm not the only member makes our walk less excruciating.

It is because of this part of the process that my husband and I took the the step  leap to Kindermourn. I am so glad we did. It wasn't until two months after we lost our sons that we were finally ready to walk through the door. Kindermourn is a local organization for bereaved parents, and also for children suffering through the loss of a loved one. Let me tell you..they are so wonderful. I didn't know what I had imagined, but I think I pictured walking into some sort of dark, sad, place. Instead, it's a warm, beautiful house filled with soothing colors and inspiration every way you look.

We decided to join a support group through Kindermourn called Empty Arms. The name in itself makes me tear up. Empty Arms is a program designed to support parents who have experienced the loss of a baby anywhere from early pregnancy through infancy.   Our group consists of four couples, and we meet every Wednesday for six weeks. I am going to be honest, when we went to our first meeting last week, the hubby and I were both incredibly nervous, and were not sure what to expect. This was our first time meeting in person with a group. As I mentioned, I have connected with many others through blogs and other support sites, but haven't met in person with a group. Seeing their faces reminded me that they, too, are normal, regular, people. They never thought they'd be sitting at an Empty Arms group, either. I have to remind myself of this when walking around that I don't know what other people have been through.

The first session was difficult, but I am so glad we are apart of this group. We are surrounded by incredibly strong individuals who have been through so much heartache, and yet we can relate to so much of what they have been going through.Each story is a different, yet we have the same, devastating outcome in common.  Last night we went to our second meeting, and instead of being nervous about it, I found myself looking forward to it. At one point in the meeting we all found ourselves laughing. At any given point when I'm speaking or any one in the group is speaking, you'll find others nodding their heads in agreement and understanding. It's validating to know that you can choose to share or not, and your feelings will be understood.

If you live in the area and can connect with Kindermourn, or if you live elsewhere and can connect with a similar group, I would highly recommend it. I know how scary it can be to open yourself up and let others in. The hardest part is walking through the door.


Anonymous said...

Hey Margot, it's Hovis. I have been thimking about you and praying for you everyday. I've been wanting to reach out to you but didn't know how or when. You are such a strong beautiful person and you will get through this. You will always have the memory but great things are coming. The boys will always be with you and be a part of your life. i wish you love and happiness always. xoxo

ChelseaTheo said...

Heart this. I'm thankful we're not alone through this nightmare...

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