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Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

June 16, 2015

Feeding the Baby


One question that has come up when talking about our surrogacy journey, is how we plan to feed the baby. Well, let's rewind. I don't exactly hear questions until I mention how I plan to feed the baby. I thought it might be helpful to post about it here in hopes of helping someone else who is in the same boat!

First, I'll just say that this is just our plan, and I understand and respect that everyone has a different path when feeding their little one.

Prior to researching gestational surrogacy, I didn't know that breastfeeding would be an option for me. It was always something I had hoped to do, but I just assumed I'd have to let it go in our case. As it turns out, it is actually very much an option!

With something called induced lactation, it is possible for mommies like me to breastfeed. Basically, it's one of those things where you don't know how much you'll produce, but I figured if I could provide any at all, it will be worth it. After doing lots of research and talking with an American mom from our clinic in India (who is currently having success with feeding her twins through induced lactation), I felt really encouraged.

So, to answer the question "how is that possible?,"I met with a lactation consultant yesterday and we made a plan. There are some variations on this, but here's what I'm going to try:

+I am starting by pumping twice daily for two weeks, and sipping on raspberry leaf and nettles tea twice a day. (I began this yesterday)

+We will gradually increase the frequency of pumping, adding in different herbs and one medication until it is about 8 times a day before the baby is born.

+Once the baby is here, I will try a combination of breastfeeding and pumping, and we will be prepared to supplement with formula, as needed. For that, I think we will use Honest.

+The hope is that my supply will catch up and keep up once we get into a routine. I know even for moms who carry, breastfeeding can be a real struggle. So, I'm expecting it to be a challenge, but one I'm willing to take!

+When we come home, if I'm not able to supply enough, then we plan to supplement with donated breastmilk from a generous friend who has graciously offered hers. It just continues to show that it takes a village!

That's the plan! It feels really good to be able to prepare in this way, and I'm excited to begin this chapter of our story. If you have any tips about what worked for you, or any questions about this, please let me know! I'll also update along the way. Hope you're having a happy Tuesday!

June 10, 2015

Dear Baby--25 Weeks

*Hey, Everybody! Please continue to pray for our little baby! This week we are waiting on the echo heart ultrasound, to look closely at baby's heart. Please pray our baby's heart is perfectly healthy and everything is completely normal. I feel as though it is, and just want to ask for prayers every step of the way! Thank you, thank you, thank you!*
Dear Baby,

Hey, darling. This week, at 25 weeks, you are about 13 inches and 1 1/2 pounds. Your hair is growing in color and texture, and your body is packing on more fat and muscles. Your senses continue to develop and become more sophisticated. You're doing such a wonderful job!

This past week was really sweet. On Friday, we went to dinner at PJ Clarke's and then to Empire rooftop to take advantage of the beautiful weather.



Then, on Saturday, we went to register! Now, this may seem like an exciting, albeit expected activity to do during pregnancy. For us, though, it is something we have never done. It was really surreal, and very precious. Afterwards, Daddy and I stopped and watched American Pharaoh win the triple crown. We went to the Boat house for dinner and he said that today felt like the day of impossibilities with those two events. Improbable, but now very much real! 

Then, on Tuesday, I went in to meet my sweet co-worker and friend, Kate, for what I thought was a morning meeting. She had {beautifully} and secretly organized a surprise shower for us and another expecting mama! I can't even tell you my surprise. As soon as I walked in the door and saw so many colleagues standing there, smiling, I realized that they were there for us. Happy tears were shed immediately, as I was so deeply moved by the beautiful gesture. I also realized I was in tears because, again, I've never experienced that before. And, because there are not physical reminders there, being able to celebrate you like that was just beautiful. You're so loved, sweet baby, and your mama is so grateful. 
 On another school-related, cute note, telling students we are expecting has been sweet and interesting! They look at me, look at my belly, look at me again quizzically. I've heard "but I don't see the baby!" and "When is the baby coming? September! Your're just telling us now?" They are very sweet and happy for us and also probably a little confused. I didn't get into the whole thing and just pretty much told them "We're having a baby! Have a great day!"  :)

Tomorrow is the last day of the school year, and what a year it's been! Then comes my next full time job, which is preparing to meet you, my love!

Keep growing big and strong, my darling baby. You are the most precious gift and we are so proud of you. We love you, we love you, we love you, dear baby.

Mommy and Daddy

June 3, 2015

Dear Baby--24 Weeks

Dear Baby,

This week you are 24 weeks! I can't believe it. You're about as long as an ear of corn, and weigh about 1 1/2 pounds. Though it's scary to think about, the biggest milestone this week is that you could be born, and survive, outside the womb. We pray you stay put and keep cookin' for as long as possible, but my heart is thankful that we're getting closer to meeting you each and every day.

At 24 weeks, you've got some hair growing on your head! Your beautiful face also has eyebrows and eyelashes, and your face is almost fully formed. We wonder what you will look like, the perfect mix of your daddy and me.  Your lungs continue to develop and grow strong. Your brain activity is close to that of a newborn, which means you can develop conscious thoughts and, most likely, memory. Your auditory system is rapidly advancing, which means you can recognize and be calmed by sounds when you're born. You're still packing on the baby fat, so your skin is becoming more and more opaque each day.

My nerves went from being wracked to being much more at peace this week. I suppose there will be moments forever when I'll be more of a mess than others! Feeling the support of your whole wide village, lots of prayer, and acupuncture, of course, helped me remember that you are perfect. Sometimes having too much information can be a double-edged sword. Helpful, but also can be not such a good thing, at the same time as it can cause unnecessary anxiety.  There has never been another you, so why would I expect you to conform to any kind of statistic, or measurement, then worry about it? Your little legs, and your heart, are just perfect. I won't doubt that anymore.  You are ours and we love you more than words can possibly express, and then more. We realize we can only fathom we love we will feel when we meet you face to face.

This past weekend we went to California for a very quick visit! While it was a whirlwind, we were able to see so much family, Naomi graduate and become a doctor, and meet your cousin, baby Julian. We were terrible about taking pictures of everyone else, but here are the few we snapped!

                                                         Congratulations, Doctor D!
 
We had a fun trip seeing everyone! They are all so excited to meet you and send their love, prayers and hugs to you non-stop. Daddy and I are going to register this weekend. There hasn't been one moment that has gone by in which I'm not abundantly grateful for every day. Registering, planning your room, reading books and taking classes about how to care for you, these are all things I never take for granted. Thank you, God, for choosing us to be our child's parents. I realize how many people, dear friends even, who yearn to be where we are. We're so grateful, and so blessed by you.
 
My darling baby, keep growing big and strong. We are so proud of you. You are our miracle baby and we love you, we love you, we love you so, dear baby.
 
Mommy and Daddy

May 27, 2015

Dear Baby--23 Weeks


Thank y'all so much for continuing to pray for us! I have some new and continued prayer requests, and answered prayers I wanted to ask for and share. So far, every prayer has been answered and every concern has resolved itself. I am beyond grateful for the community of love that surrounds us and our baby. Please Please Please...continue to pray! Thank you, a million times over.

Answered Prayers
-At last week's ultrasound, the placenta was given a grade 1 in maturity. The scale goes up as it matures, and the weeks in grade 1 are 18-29, so we're in that range. A will continue to be monitored closely, and we are so thankful for this news.
-Baby G continues to grow and thrive in A's womb. S/he measured ahead at the last appointment and the weight is good!

Prayer Requests
-So, at the ultrasound, there was a tiny echogenic focus noted on the left ventricle of Baby's heart. A what? I didn't know either, but the doctors told me its common and usually resolves itself. They plan to do a follow up echo when the heart is fully formed, next week.
Please pray that it is nothing, that it resolves itself, and that it does not cause any harm or indicate any concern for the baby.
 Here's something else I found to explain it:
-While baby was overall measuring ahead at the last appointment, the femur length was measuring a few days behind. Now, if you've ever met me in person, you know I'm not a tall girl. Quite the opposite, in fact. My hope and prayer is that the reason baby's femurs are shorter is because s/he has shorter legs, like Mama. I hopped on the internet again (bad idea, again!) and this also can be very common and usually baby is just fine. In other cases, it can be a soft marker for down's. Since baby has had so many close looks and the NT scan/quad screening came back low risk, I feel that the short femur length is because Baby G isn't a big, tall, baby. Still, reading scary things combined with prayer request #1 made me a nervous mama today. Babies grow at different rates, and body parts can grow at different rates, too. I should also note that this measurement was with the other measurements in the report, and not brought up to me as a concern.
PLEASE PRAY that Baby is healthy, continues to get everything s/he needs from A, and that the femurs continue to grow and catch up as much as possible.

-Please pray that in all areas of growth and development, Baby G continues to grow, thrive, and get stronger and stronger.

-Please pray that the placenta remains healthy, that the calcification/maturity does not progress too fast, and that our baby is not in any danger at any time.

-Please pray that my heart returns to being calm and peaceful, and that I focus on every wonderful aspect of this beautiful life we have created, and not obsess over fears. Please pray that TJ continues to remain positive, calm, cool and collected, as he has every day!

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my hopeful heart for your continued love and prayers!
 
Dear Baby,
 
 
Hello, my sweet love! This week you are 23 weeks, and the size of an eggplant! At your ultrasound last Thursday it was estimated you weigh 1.1lbs, which is awesome. Your beautiful heartrate was measured at 141 bpm. Over the next four weeks you should double in weight. You are over 11 inches long. At 23 weeks, your lungs, sensory functions and ability to move are developing rapidly. Billions of brain cells will develop over the next couple of weeks! In your lungs, surfactant is being produced, which helps air sacs to inflate and lungs to expand. Right now your skin has a red hue, due to developing veins and arteries underneath the skin. Keratin is being added to your skin, allowing it thicken. Right now your precious skin is a little baggy, but that will change once fat plumps you up!You can hear outside noises, and your kicks and punches are visible from the outside.
 
 
This week, Daddy and I went to our first baby class. We learned more about how to care for a newborn--a pretty important thing to learn with someone as precious as you on the way! I think we both left feeling more confident and practicing swaddling was a skill we'll need to put to use quite a bit, it seems! :) I had my third dream that you are a baby girl. We're going to be so surprised to meet you, boy or girl! I'm sure we will just be in blissful shock. We also booked our stay in India! Mimi and Papi did the same, and they'll be there with us the whole time! We haven't booked flights yet, that's the next step, and is such an exciting one!
 
This weekend, we go to California for a very quick, whirlwind trip! Your Aunt Naomi is graduating from Med School (woo!) We will also meet your  baby cousin, Julian, and visit with your other four California cousins, and your uncles and aunties, Nana and Mimi and Papi will be there, too! 
 
And, just because I can't leave out your 'big sisters', here's Sadie and Bailey showing off this week. Sadie got a much needed bath and haircut, and can you see the joy on her face in the bottom left? Just so you know, walks, parks, car rides, benches, ball,  and French fries are her love language.


 Bailey was so tuckered out after the park that I snapped this series of wide-eyed, sleepy, ..out cold in about 15 seconds time.
My darling, you are doing such an amazing job. Keep growing big and strong, and know how proud of you we are and what a gift you are to us. We love you, we love you, we love you so, Dear Baby.
 
Mommy and Daddy

May 26, 2015

The Beauty of a Rainbow


"The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm.
 
When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath.
 
What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.
 
Storm clouds may still loom over, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and much needed hope."
 
On May 26, 2011, we experienced a storm that changed our lives forever. Today {and everyday} my heart misses our boys, and is abundantly grateful to be their mom. And, our rainbow. Words can't express how thankful I am for our rainbow.
 
 

May 20, 2015

Dear Baby--22 Weeks


 
Dear Baby,
 
Hey, Darlin'! You are 22 weeks today. Thank you, God. This week, you are the size of a spaghetti squash, are about 11 inches long and 1 pound! Grow baby, grow! Now you can perceive light, hear sounds, and are practicing your sense of touch by holding onto your ears, nose and sometimes, umbilical cord! Your eyebrows and eye lashes are well developed. You had an OB checkup today and a scan tomorrow. Praying continuously that you are healthy, growing on track, and getting everything you need!
 
This past week, we had our sweet friends, Brent and Danielle in for a visit as they prepare to move to NYC. It was great seeing them and enjoying lots of quality time, meals and we even squeezed in a manicure. We're excited for them to move here!
 
 


Daddy and I went to a baby show on Saturday and it was lots of fun! There was a lot going on, but it was great for us to get lots of ideas. We even saw a panel of experts, including one of my favorite Today Show hosts, Erica. As we walked around we picked up a few things, including
 the-cutest-little-elephant-toy-that-I-just-had-to-have-right-that-very-minute.





Other sweet things that arrived this week were this darling handmade onesie that a sweet art teacher at school gifted us. Just so thoughtful and kind of her. Also, a miracle baby shirt for our miracle baby! We have been looking at and narrowing down cribs and are pretty much decided on a carseat. I think we're going with the cybex aton (not sure yet if we should get the 2 or Q), but we're making decisions!

We're also in touch with our medical team and are planning an early September delivery. You'll be around 37 weeks then, and we're praying you are born at the best possible time for you to have the best possible life. I saw that sentence while reading Gaby's blog, who is an incredibly courageous mama-to-be who is expecting her baby Louis while going through cancer. Her positivity and faith are awe-inspiring and I pray right along with the countless others for her health and for her baby Louis. I just have a feeling that he is going to be perfect, and that she's going to be, too. I can't imagine what it's like to be Gaby, and I don't know her personally, but I'm praying for her and little Louis. So when I saw that sentence about praying for him to be born at the best possible time to have the best possible life, I prayed it for you, too. I just have so much faith that you will be born alive and healthy into our arms at the perfect time, and I'm beyond thankful for the whole wide world that's praying for you to get there.

You keep growing big and strong, little one. We are so proud of you. We love you, we love you, we love you so, dear baby.

Mommy and Daddy

July 30, 2014

Just Do It

First of all, thank you all so, so much for your wonderful words of encouragement shared here, on facebook and instagram on Monday's post. It means more to me than I can say. Your words have encouraged me, brought tears to my eyes, and put hope in my heart.

I waited so long to share that post. I know I shared bits and pieces  along the way, but I struggled to "let it all out". The longer I waited, the more I had to keep editing the post to reflect what was happening. This alone made me crazy. I would think to myself, just do it! Just share it and then it will be out there and then you can move along. But I wouldn't. I felt strange writing if I didn't acknowledge that piece of me or would avoid those topics when I would write. Then I thought, is it weird that I write about my grief one day and lipstick another? Basically, I put way too much thought into what I was or wasn't writing and sharing.  As I mentioned, I really do gain a lot of inspiration from people who are brave enough to share their stories like that. As soon as I shared it, I was so glad that I did. Your support and encouragement makes me remember that I can't keep this journey to myself. I've referenced it before, but Hoda Kotb, (my bestie), wrote about how her life was changed when someone told her "don't hog your journey". I may not have the courage to share my story if someone else didn't have the courage to share theirs.

Our minds are very powerful. Sometimes the thoughts, fears, anxieties we create can prevent us from really living, or doing, something we may want to do. Do I always feel strong or brave? Not even close.

 Another example of this has to do with running. Before we got married, I was training for a half marathon. I was really deep into the training, and had gotten up to running 11 miles. Then, our wedding happened, honeymoon happened, and that was it for the long distance running. I never signed up for that half marathon, and so it didn't happen. Then, well, life happened. I'd be pregnant or planning to be pregnant or recovering from a treatment or miscarriage and I didn't run. The weird thing is, I've wanted to run. Nothing was stopping me but my own mind. I gave myself excuses or talked myself out of it, or told myself that I couldn't possibly get that distance back. Now I find myself almost five years later and I need to run. I think I need to prove to myself that I can do it. Lately I've gotten back out there a little bit. The first run was very slow, but I managed to run 6 miles. I feel proud of myself for doing that, and it makes me want to do more. And then, just like usual, I feel the thoughts of doubt creep in. Can I run 7 more miles? Will I be able to finish a half marathon? The answer is yes. I just need to stop thinking about it and do it. So, we plan to sign up for a half marathon for the fall, before we are ready. In doing so, the hope is the we will be ready by the time it comes around, and we will be accountable for actually running it. I guess I'm writing it down here so that we will also be accountable for signing up for one!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? How did you get motivated to make your goals happen? Any running tips for half marathon training?








July 24, 2014

Upcoming Trips

There was a period of time, like the last four years, where we hardly traveled at all. This year we are aiming to change that. An opportunity came up for us to visit Europe in August and we are celebrating our five year anniversary in September in Turks and Caicos. While I don't want to rush the summer, I'm really thankful and excited for these trips we have coming up!

We've spent a lot of time planning for:

 Bruges, Belgium

 Brussels, Belgium

Leuven, Belgium
Loire Valley, France

Paris, France

...and in September:

 
Have you been to any of these places? We have both been to Paris, Belgium is new to me, but Bruges and Loire Valley will be new to us both. Neither of us have been to Turks and Caicos. What should we make sure we do or see?

July 23, 2014

Anniversary Sale Finds

The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is my favorite sale of the year. I seriously look forward to the catalog coming every June, and then I peel through every page of goodies. If you aren't familiar with this sale, it is an annual sale of FALL merchandise that will go back up to regular price in August. I like it because I'm getting current pieces for a discount. I know it is tough to think about coats and boots in July, but it's worth it. Trust me.

With that said, there weren't any coats or boots on my shopping list this year, though there were plenty that I had my eye on!

Here's what I ended up with at this year's sale:



I love this fun lipstick, gloss, eye shadow and liner set by Mac. I believe it's sold out online but check your store to see if they still have some! This set also comes in coral and nude.

 Okay, so I purchased the Kendra Scott 'Elle" drop earrings in a blush color as a part of the Anniversary Sale. They are now sold out but much to my excitement they added these neon yellow ones for the anniversary sale price! Run, don't walk, to grab them here.
Butter London nail polish--I am weak.
 
And, I'm not alone in my household with this sale! TJ loves it, too. :) Did you shop it this year? What were some of your favorite finds?

May 13, 2014

Six Months in NYC

We have officially been living in New York City for six months. In some ways, it definitely feels like we just got here, and in others {ahem, the winter weather} it feels like we've been here for years. I thought I'd do a little recap of our time here and list some things I've learned so far.


We packed up our car and drove up to New York at the end of October. We were nervous, sad, a little excited and admittedly scared about this new adventure we were beginning.

Our first night in the apartment consisted of sushi on the floor with a cardboard box table and champagne in plastic cups. It was actually kind of perfect.

Our first day was spent walking around our new neighborhood.  Thankfully, we still were able to witness some beautiful fall weather before it turned too cold.

The chaos began when all of our "stuff" was delivered the following day. Filling an already small apartment with too many boxes made me into a crazy lady. I spent the next few weeks trying desperately to unpack these giant boxes and get them out. TJ began his new job right away and I was not working yet, so I made "getting settled" my job. There isn't a spare room to put all of the boxes in and shut the door until you're ready to unpack them, like we had done at our house in Charlotte. We were literally living in a box jungle for what seemed like weeks.  In the interest of full disclosure, I think I cried everyday for the first month that we were here. Sometimes it was because I was homesick, other times it was because someone looked at me the wrong way {yep, my skin has thickened since then!} But mostly, it was because nothing felt comfortable. I didn't know where and how to go grocery shopping. Nothing was familiar. I didn't know how to get from point A to point B. We didn't have our favorite Mexican restaurant that was right up the street from us like we did in Charlotte. We hardly knew anyone at all. We didn't know our neighbors because things are different in apartment buildings. Walking the dogs, well that deserves a post in itself!
 
There were multiple times in that first little bit that TJ and I would look at each other and wonder if we had made a really big mistake.  From what I understand, this is all very normal. It was my first move to another state and our first move together as a couple, so lots of changes all around. Not to mention, we were throwing in a complete lifestyle change in the mix.
 
After all of the boxes had been unpacked and we had our pictures back on the shelves, we started to breathe a little. Pretty surprisingly, we seem to be fitting okay  in our apartment.
We began to run into familiar faces on the street and on the way to the park. We figured out how to get groceries and do laundry, and tried lots of good restaurants. I pretty much avoided the subway at all costs for the first month or so, and truthfully, if I can walk it and the weather isn't miserable, I'll still avoid the subway at all costs.
 
We have made it a point to really take in where we live. I still think it's crazy that "a walk in the park" means Central Park and that walking home sometimes means going through Times Square. I definitely am still in awe that we live here. If you would have told me a year ago this is where we would be, I would have looked at you like you were crazy.
 
I have had moments where I really, really wish we had a backyard for summer nights and dinners on the deck. Or a larger kitchen to have dinner parties or, who am I kidding, just space to prep dinner! But the goal is not to focus on what we wish we had or where we wish we were. The important lesson is to appreciate exactly where we are. And we are here, in New York City, where we live. We don't know how long we'll be here and just as I miss "home", I will surely miss parts of NYC when we leave here, too.
 
So, because we've been here for six months, I thought it would be fun to list six things I've learned through living in New York City so far:
 
{one} Know where you're going, what you're ordering and do not hesitate. If you do, someone will undoubtedly sigh in exasperation or perhaps ask you kindly to get out of the way. I learned this the hard way when asking questions like "what's in that turkey sandwich?", "can I get that on a different type of bread?", "is that organic?" People are always in a hurry. Always.
 
{two} Do not come running towards anyone in the street. I do not care if you are in a hurry, if you are walking down the street and you feel someone running towards you, you might assume they are trying to mug you or hurt you in some way and completely spazz out like a crazy person. I know this from experience and the fact that I am super paranoid all the time. :)
 
{three} "Telling is like it is" or "keeping it real" are code words for saying something that isn't very nice. And smiling at people and asking how they are doing may catch people off guard. I have actually been told that I was "too friendly" and enthusiastic and once they found out I was from the south, was told that it all made sense because people from the south are nice. {Thank you?}
 
{four}Weather, Weather, Weather.  Rain boots are your friend. This city does not handle rain well. TJ and I couldn't quite put our finger on why it is so yucky here, but I think it's because when it rains, you still have to go out in it and do all the things you would normally do. You don't hop in your car and run from the car to the store. The streets practically flood and when everyone has an umbrella up, it's a serious hazard!  I am saying this all really lightheartedly, but please, bring your hunter rain boots if you are moving to NYC. You will use them all the time. Also, someone told us when we moved here that people hibernate during the winter and don't go further than a block away from home when it's cold out. We didn't believe this at the time, but now we do. When it is nice out, like it is now, you have a whole new appreciation for it.
 
{five} There are sweet people in New York. I've seen them when asking for directions, lending a helping hand, being friendly and striking up conversations, giving recommendations for places to eat or visit. I feel safe in our neighborhood and really feel like anyone around me would help me if I needed it. There are a lot of stereotypes for all places {south included} and I'm sure many of them are true, BUT there are lots of friendly people here, you just have to be open enough to see them.
 
{six} Relax! Because of the fast-paced lifestyle, it's easy to get stressed out and overwhelmed. Especially at first. We've come a long way in learning to go-with-the-flow, laugh it off, and not sweat the small things. Because we couldn't physically move our house from Charlotte here {oh, how nice that would be!}, we don't need to try and make this place like that place. For some reason, knowing that helps. New York is supposed to be different, and we're supposed to live in a tiny apartment {with little-to-no-room to support my shoe addiction}. We figured the sooner we could relax and embrace this wild adventure, the sooner we'd likely start enjoying it.
 
































 
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