October 11, 2012

Day 11: Life in the Waiting Room

I have spent a lot of time in waiting rooms. Literally and metaphorically. It's the place where you are, in many ways, stuck. It might be that you're late for work and in a hurry. It might be a place  where you feel anxious about what is to come, in a state of uncertainty.
It's the place you have to sit to get where you eventually need to be, and you hardly ever bypass the waiting room and are able to be seen right away.
How do you pass your time in the waiting room? Do you read a magazine, trying to distract yourself? Or, do you sit quietly and focus on why you're in the waiting room to begin with?
I have been thinking about how so much of my life lately is consumed with waiting. Waiting for the next appointment. Waiting for answers. Waiting for my heart to stop aching so badly. Waiting to hold our babies.
In the meantime, life happens. Precious days pass by before our eyes when we are hyper-focused on one all-consuming goal. We cannot move forward or go backwards. We are stuck in  between where we've been and where we so desperately want to be.
We must not give up. While we are in waiting we must make the most of it. We must, at times, distract ourselves and others sit quietly and focus on our goals, our purpose for waiting. I know, without a single doubt, that our journey is worth the wait. Everything we are going through, every tear, every emotion, is worth it. Once we hold our baby or babies in our arms, we will understand why we had to wait so long.
I am inspired to spend my time more wisely during the wait. Instead of wallowing in the "what ifs", "why nots" and "why me?", I will be painting, writing and trying my very best to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. I will be sipping wine, dancing, and appreciating small moments. I will "date" my husband, teach my students and be the best sister, aunt, teacher, friend, daughter, wife, and mother I can be. Above all, I will do my best to make my babies proud of their mama.
Life in the waiting room. While I deeply hope it'll soon be my turn to hear my name called to come on back, I vow to make the most of my time while I wait.

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