October 26, 2012

Day 26: Sustained Joy

I love this one. I feel like joy is sometimes seen as a destination, not a journey.So, if we are so focused on how happy we will be when {fill in blank with your hopes here}happens...what are we doing during our journey to that destination? Do we ever really arrive? Are we supposed to just hold on tight and close our eyes until the ride is over?
This month, focusing on being intentionally grateful has been really, really good for me. I will be the first to admit that I sometimes wish I could hit the fast-forward button and get on over to the "finish" line where my hubby and I are holding our crying baby or babies in our arms. And, truth be told, if I had the option of not enduring the pain and frustration we have felt along the way, I would choose that. But, I don't have that option so I have to figure something else out.
I kind of wished that I could hibernate for a season or two and could just emerge to a new day, new season, new life. I see now that doing that is a waste of my time, literally. I guess the thought initially was to put my head down and charge forward towards our goals. That's all well and good except for one main thing. If your head is down, you lose track of what's in front of you, above you, around you. You don't see the sun's light shining on things you may never otherwise stop and notice.
How much have I missed? When I stop and look up, I am always amazed what I see. Sure, we are desperate to rebuild our family. Will do anything and that hasn't changed. But, in the mean time, how I spend my time and energy will drastically impact my daily life.  I cannot live in a bubble. There is not a fast-forward button for me to push. If I can slow my mind down enough to recognize that, I can open my heart up to being grateful for the here and now. The present. The place I subconciously refer to as a pitstop as I make my way do my precious destination.
 Being grateful is the antitode. Sustained joy is obtained not by those who are perfect, but those who are grateful for the imperfections.  

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