September 5, 2011

Farewell, Summer

As we wrap up the final weekend of summer, I find myself in a state of reflection. This summer was, well, horrific. I don't know how, but we survived it. I don't feel sad that it's over, as I have in years past, because it was filled with so much heartache. Then again, I am asking myself: Am I really looking forward to fall? Fall is our favorite season as a couple. It's when we fell in love, when we said I Do, and when our sweet boys were scheduled to come into our lives. How can I possibly look forward when they won't be with us? Truth is, I'm really not. Sure, I love the things that come with fall. I love football, crisp weather, sweaters and cute boots. I love vibrant colored leaves on the trees, autumn wreaths on doors and pumpkin-flavored anything.

But, this fall was supposed to be our most special yet. This was the one we were anticipating like nothing before in our lives. 11.11.11 is right around the corner and I am awaiting that day anxiously for a reason which I did not plan. I miss them. I miss that I won't get to meet them in November. I miss that I won't get to squeeze them and tell them how beautiful they are and how happy Daddy and I are now that they're here. Believe me, I talk to them all the time and I know they KNOW how loved and completely precious they are. I know one day I will meet them {in Heaven} and I will hold them both in my arms and never let them go. I know this. It doesn't change the fact that I desperately want them here with me now and it doesn't change the fact that my aching heart continues to break with each passing day. These hard facts do not change.

So, back to summer ending. This Labor Day weekend my family and I gathered for a beach weekend to celebrate our parents' 40th anniversary. The best part? There was a surprise involved! My brother and his family live in California and made the trip out. The look on Mom and Dad's face when he walked up is completely priceless. We had so much fun and did just what I had hoped we would: a whole lot of nothing! I caught up on my reading, my sun, and we all tapped into our inner children as we stayed on the beach and in the water all.day.every.day. I even snuck in an early morning run on the beach. Fabulous. We're still brushing sand out of our hair, but we had so much fun. Here are some highlights:













Here's to brighter days, and happier seasons ahead.

2 comments:

Mrs. Stranded said...

I saw your blog on Coffee & Cabernet and have become a follower. I'm so sorry to hear of your devestating loss and can only imagine how you're feeling. There are no right words to say, but I hope that brighter days are indeed ahead.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you had a wonderful weekend with your family. I pray you continue to find happiness everyday! xo Laura

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