Dear Baby--11 Weeks

Hello, Friends!

Thank you all so much for your continued love and prayers for us and our babe. I've been an anxious mommy this week. I'm so very thankful for everyday we have with our baby and fight daily to stay strong and positive.

'Big' ultrasounds make me nervous, though they are all big, aren't they? Tomorrow is the NST scan, and I'm just praying for wonderful news! It sometimes takes a couple of days for us to get the report so I don't want you all worrying if you don't hear from me!  I've found that if I am really honest with myself, I'm worried about worrying. It's almost as if I think that if I worry, then something will go wrong. And, then I realize that I'm pulling from memories. Things have gone wrong in the past, but it doesn't mean they will in the future. Pregnancy anxiety is a real thing, and even though I'm not carrying, I'm still experiencing it.

I am in prayer pretty much constantly. At any given moment, I'm thinking about our baby. And sometimes I experience waves of calm, and at others I feel fear and worry. I've asked God to take away all of my fear. I am aware that this precious life is a miracle and that we have been chosen to be our child's parents. I pray to fight the 'worst case scenario' scenes that appear in my mind and focus on the 'this time is different' scenes. I ask God to walk with us to a different ending. An ending that involves us holding our live, healthy, crying, full term baby in the hospital in September. I ask God to please allow us the privilege of meeting our child and raising him or her until we are all old and gray. I know He knows the desires of my heart, but I ask anyway.

I have to remind myself that it is normal to feel anxious. Given the fact that this is our seventh child, and the sixth pregnancy, I'd say it's pretty understandable. But it's a battle because I KNOW I shouldn't worry. I know that I should trust that everything is fine and our baby is safe.

If I had to pick a verse that is on repeat on my mind and in my heart, this is it:
                                        “Forget the former things;
                                          do not dwell on the past.
                                                         See, I am doing a new thing!
                             Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
                                  I am making a way in the wilderness
                                         and streams in the wasteland."

Will you please pray for the health of our baby and also my anxious heart? I am still so hopeful and grateful cannot even describe how blessed I feel everyday to have this amazing opportunity. I ask for peace on our hearts as we proceed, week by week, appointment by appointment. Because, I know the worrying doesn't end when our baby is born. The worrying must continue, and must even be magnified once baby (toddler, child, adult) is here. I've got to find peace and trust that everything is going to be okay. Thank you so much for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers!

Dear Baby,

 

Hello, my darling. You are 11 (almost 12, tomorrow!) weeks and we are so thankful for you. This week, you are the size of a fig. Side note-Your Papi (my Dad) said last week that the kumquat was his new favorite fruit, but that the fig would be his favorite fruit this week. I told him I also love them both, but preferred not eating them these weeks because that seemed a little strange to me! He loves you. We all do. :)

 

This week your boy or girl organs are all set to go (even though we won't be finding out which one you are until delivery!) Your hands can open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds appear under your gums and some of your bones are beginning to harden.

 

Thanks to a tip from a friend on facebook (thanks, Jessica!) Barkley the Bernese came home to wait for you.

Daddy and I went to two baby shops and oooohed and ahhhhed over strollers and pretty much everything else. We like to look and are so proud to talk about how we are expecting you in September.

 

Well, my sweet, you are doing such a fantastic job! I just know you have everything you need and such a wonderful team taking care of you. I send you my love 13847397 (at least) times a day. A is doing an amazing job taking care of you until we get to meet your sweet face.

 

Keep growing big and strong. We're so proud of you!

 

We love you so, Dear Baby.

 

Mommy and Daddy