Day 1: Hope, defined.



If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.



                                          

What is hope? It's a question I've held onto for some time. Is it an emotion? A way of being? A perspective on life? Is it something we expect of others but don't always hold true to ourselves?

Maybe it is all of the above.

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."

Hope is a funny thing. After losing Eli and Michael, hope was not a part of me. For a long time I did not let hope in. I think it was there all along, but my broken heart could not imagine a time when things would possibly get better. That thought still makes me sad to this very moment, but in a way, it helps to remember that I went through that. That I lived through that.  I learned to be intentional in finding things to be grateful for. Things to hope for. Those things are always there. You just have to find them. I thank God every day for the blessings in my life, and especially on days when I'm feeling really sad or down about something. I recognize that we are not guaranteed tomorrow and we must be thankful for the time we are given.

That's not to say that I'm all rainbows and sunshine and butterflies all day long. I'm not sure you thought that I was, but I'm really not. I love hope because of the possibilities it provides for future dreams. On the other hand, I also have a hard time getting too close to hope because, well, it sure does hurt when your hopes are up only to be let down.

So where is the balance? Should you go around thinking that everything is going to fall apart at any moment, only to be pleasantly surprised when they don't? Or, do you assume that all of your wildest dreams and wishes will come true, setting your expectations high. I have to find my way towards the middle somewhere, and that's what I'm working on. Being realistic, but also remaining positive and hopeful.

How do you manage the expectations placed on you by yourself or others? How do you allow hope and faith to sneak in to your daily life?

It's a funny thing, that hope. But one thing I know: I'm hanging onto it with all my might.