September 20, 2016

The Night Before Your First Birthday

My Darling Emmerson,

Tomorrow is your birthday! You turn ONE! I am a ball of emotions as I reflect back on what has been the greatest year of our entire lives.

Everyone says, "it goes so fast!" And honey, it really does. This has been the fastest, most amazing, most joyful tear-inducing, most heart-swelling, exhausting, beautiful year of my whole life, and I can truly say that I've loved every minute of it. Being your mom is the most precious gift I've ever been given and I take not one moment for granted.

We have come a long way, you, me and daddy. We waited and prayed for years for you. We fought for you and traveled oceans in order to bring you into our arms. We never lost hope for you and you are so much more than anything we could imagine in our wildest dreams. You came true and softened the cracks in our hearts. You taught us (and continue to teach us) more every single day. Because of you, we are Mama and Dada. Because of you, we are your world, and you are ours. Because of you, we see every day through your innocent, precious eyes. You are an angel sent from Heaven and we know how far you've come to get to us. You. You, brave, courageous, wise little girl. You spent 9 months in an angel's belly in India until we could get to you. You fought to grow big and strong and hung in there the entire pregnancy and were born perfect and healthy on September 21, 2015. You knew how much we needed to meet you. You have since brought an immeasurable amount of joy into our hearts and lives and the lives of everyone who knows you. What a gift you are, Emmerson! Please know what a gift you are.

I am in awe of you. Everyday for the past year, you have done something that has taken my breath away. It might be you reaching your big milestones, like holding your head up, smiling, laughing, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, standing or talking. Or it might be the simple moments, the ones where your eyes light up when you see your daddy walk in the room, or when you figure out how to sort your shapes, or when you clap every time we say "yaaaaaay". Sometimes I have to pinch myself that I get to stand in the kitchen making dinner and look down to see you, a tiny (but mighty) person hanging onto my leg looking up at me. Or when you get into these giggle fits, and whatever is making you laugh is the only thing I want to be doing. Or when you calm as soon as I pick you up, or the times when you don't want to be put down. Or how you love your books and say "moo" every time we see a cow. The way you try all the food we give you, and sometimes spit out the parts you don't care for. (You never spit out fruit!) Or when I introduce you and call you my daughter. Or when you nurse in the middle of the night. And how you always start each day with a big smile and a wave to Bailey and Sadie. These moments (big and small) that make our new life together are ones that I cherish so dearly. I dreamed of being a mom for so long, baby. Now I can't imagine what life was like before you.

I hope Daddy and I are doing great as your parents. We just want to give you the world and often feel the weight of the responsibility and privilege we have to raise and protect our perfect little human. Even though I'm sure we've made lots of mistakes this year, I'm positive we have poured our hearts and souls into you, trying our best to be the best parents we can be. We'll always keep trying and will be learning as we go. You're teaching us how to be better every day, so thank you for that, sweet girl.

I pray this is the first of many (like, 120) birthdays that you celebrate. You have such a spectacular life ahead of you. What will you love? What will you do? Who will you love? I just want you to know that we will always be your biggest cheerleaders and supporters. We will love you through every moment of your life and will always be by your side, encouraging you and routing for you.  Watching you grow this year and seeing your amazing personality shine through has been incredible. I want to freeze time, right where you are, but at the same time I'm so excited for all that's ahead. I'm sure this year will bring many new changes and I'll look back on it thinking where has the time gone? I want to soak it all up and experience every single bit of life with you. You make ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. We're so thankful for you, angel.

 I want to share some words from our favorite book, Wherever You Are: my love will find you. We have read this every night of your first year and it just captures my heart so perfectly.

I wanted you more than you ever will know,
so I sent love to follow wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it.
It's quick as an elf!
You'll never outgrow it...
it stretches itself!

So climb any mountain...
climb up to the sky!
My love will find you.
My love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb.
My love will find you! My love can swim.

It never gets lost. Never fades, never ends.
If you're working..
or playing..
or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy...
paint 'til you're blue. 
There's no place, not one, 
that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad,
if you strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad...

Just lift up your face,
feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby,
my love is right there.

In the green of the grass,
in the smell of the sea,
in the clouds floating by,
at the top of a tree..

In the sound crickets make,
at the end of the day..
"You are loved, You are loved, You are loved,"
they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide, and so deep
It's always right there,
even when you're asleep.

So hold your head high 
and don't be afraid,
to march to the front of your own parade.

If you're still my small babe, 
or you're all the way grown...
My promise to you is you're never alone.

You are my angel,
my darling,
my star.

And my love will find you, 
wherever you are. 



So, my baby, Happy Birthday! We have so much to celebrate. Thank you for this year. Thank you for being the most magnificent human we have ever met. Thank you for loving us like you do and allowing us to love you like we do. It is an honor and a privilege being your parents. We love you, we love you, we love you so, dear baby.

We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

3 comments:

Lindsey said...

So beautiful, Margot. I am crying big happy tears of joy for you, TJ, and Emmerson. You are so blessed to have each other <3

Leslie said...

You and TJ are doing an amazing job with your precious baby girl. And you, Margot, were made to be a mommy. Your love and devotion to Emmerson inspires me, and many other moms, I'm sure! Happy almost birthday, sweet girl!

Regine Karpel said...

Love.

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