December 4, 2014

But Wait, There's Hope

I mentioned that God's timing blew me away when we found out we were pregnant. If you've been reading this blog for a while you know that we had decided to take a big rest from all the treatments, hormones, clinics, trying, etc. We just hit a wall and needed to take a break. This was back in January or so.

Since then, we've been searching our hearts about what would be best for our family. Every family is different, and ours is no exception. What works for some may not be the best for others. Anyhow, we really wanted to do it right, so we researched all of our options and weighed the pros and cons of each. Sometimes we would talk about an option, and let it sit for weeks or even months. When we were ready, we'd talk about it again. We made it a no-pressure, everyone should feel good about this, sort of thing. Mostly we went with our hearts, which is a pretty good place to start when making big decisions that impact your entire lives.

Well, our hearts led us to surrogacy.

From the beginning, I didn't want to feel like I was "waving the white flag" on carrying a child. We've been fighting for so long and couldn't possibly let go of that dream. It was simply viewed as another avenue which we haven't tried and really might make sense for us at this time. Then, we lost our sweet miracle baby boy in September, months after we had begun our surrogacy journey. Of course I still don't know if carrying a baby to term is in my future, but this is where are now. We just want our baby(ies) in our arms, and if this is how we get them there, what a gift that will be.

While we felt like surrogacy was the right choice for us, we suddenly became completely overwhelmed with the cost. Financially, it seemed out of reach. We decided we would need to save for at least 2 years to have the $100,000+ we would need. We could take the equity from our house, but that didn't feel responsible and we had to think about the future. We didn't want to act emotionally or impulsively with such a huge decision. We didn't want to rush it, but also didn't want to wait, if that makes any sense. This led us to look into other options, talk to people who have gone through surrogacy, and lots and lots of research.

All of that led us to India.

Why India? There were lots of reasons. The financial aspect definitely impacted our decision, but it's not what we solely based it on. The doctors, technology and medical community are highly advanced, respected and developed, all things that are important to us! Then there's the knowledge that the income provided to the gestational carrier will help provide opportunities her family might not otherwise have, like buying a home or saving for college. International surrogacy is growing fast there, and we have found a wonderful and established agency. We also spoke with several families from the US who had gone through a successful surrogacy with the agency we chose, which helped ease our minds.

Oh, and we're going there in 15 days.

Typing that last sentence just made this all feel incredibly real.
Which I suppose it should, as we are going there in 15 days.

I don't think the reality of what we're doing will hit until we step off the airplane in Mumbai. Even then, it may not. We're very excited,very nervous and most importantly, we're hopeful.

It was important for me to share this journey on our blog. I will update with specifics from now on, for us to remember, and for those who have been so supportive of our journey so far. It would mean everything to us if you would please pray for us throughout this process. The more people praying and thinking positive thoughts with us, the better. We know we aren't alone on this journey, we know that, and we're very grateful for that fact.

Thank you so much for all of your support and encouragement. It's given me the courage to keep sharing and the strength to keep my chin up on tough days. We have faith, we are hopeful and we are chasin' our dreams. All the way to India. :)


Annie said...

Oh Margot, this is wonderful. You guys will be in our thoughts and prayers with your new journey! Can't wait to hear what you are able to share! xo

Shauna said...

I found my way back to your blog and this is just amazing news ! Congratulations : )

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