As we bid farewell to 2011 and waved hello to 2012, we were overcome with emotions over all we have experienced this past year. What a year it has been.
It was, in many ways, the best and the worst year of our life. How can that be? It's just how this year worked out. I hope that 2012 is equally as blessed, yet not remotely as sad.
There are so many moments that we experienced this year in which I will never forget. Some of them, I will cherish forever. Others, unfortunately, will never be erased from my mind,no matter how much I'd like them to. I have learned from each experience. I have become a stronger person. I have survived times I didn't think I would. I have seen compassion, love, and kindness from family, friends, and strangers. I have helped others. I have grown closer to my husband than ever before. I have made priceless friends in the wake of sadness. I have cried. I have laughed. I have felt a love deeper than I even knew existed. I have seen hope.
Again, I hope that 2012 is every bit as sweet, and yet not nearly as heartbreaking as 2011. I pray to God that He continues to walk with us on our journey towards parenthood. I am thankful for His grace, hope and peace He has given me.
On Christmas Eve, we were at church with family. I had held it together well until I was praying silently and the children's choir began to sing Silent Night A Capella. Then, the tears came. They flowed out of my eyes like water, in the middle of church where there were joyful people surrounding us. I felt...a lot of things. I ached because of how deeply I missed Michael and Elijah. I felt peace knowing I will see them again and that they are watching over our family. I felt hope for the future. That pretty much sums up our year. Our hearts are filled with sadness, peace, love and hope. All at once. God is good and has a plan for us. We are living it now, even though it's not the way we pictured it. I still have faith it will be beautiful.
May God bless you and yours in 2012. I will pray for a year filled with health, happiness, peace, love and hope.
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4 comments:
This is a beautiful post, friend. Keep writing and sharing with us. You'll always be Michael and Eli's Mommy no matter how distant 2011 becomes. New beginnings and wonderful blessings are to come, but I'll never forget your sweet little boys.
Congrats, Margot! You won my Picky Sticky giveaway!
Will you please email me so I can give you the information you need? My email is katier7@cox.net.
Thank you!
I found your blog on faces of loss, faces of hope. I am so sorry for your losses. I was especially drawn to your blog because I have twin brothers. I too lost my baby, Lily Katherine, who was stillborn at fullterm on March 16, 2010. It's good to find people who 'get it' in the blogging community. I'd love to have you follow along on my blog as well; www.roseandherlily.blogspot.com
I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hope 2012 brings you consolation and, happiness in some form.
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