June 23, 2011

Reminders

I have come to dread Thursdays. It has been four weeks since our world fell apart. Four weeks. May 26th was supposed to have been one of the happiest days, and ended up being the.worst.day.of.our.lives. Completely overcome with grief, I couldn't possibly imagine how our hearts would ever heal from a pain and loss so deep it shook us to our core. The only signs of relief I had were the few brief moments when I would sleep, and I woke up in tears for weeks because I realized then that our nightmare was real.

I truly believe I could not have survived these four weeks without my faith, family, friends, and even strangers who were moved by our story and took time to share theirs. Most of all, I could not have faced one minute of the darkness we endured without my husband directly by my side. This is the "for worse" we spoke of when we exchanged our vows, and it is ever. We always say to eachother, I love you more than I did yesterday, but not nearly as much as I will love you tomorrow. It's true. I love him more every single day and through this time of sorrow our love has grown stronger than ever.

It's impossible not to think about "what would have been". I just try to spend more time thinking about about "what will be". Going through this reminds us, in a big, devastating way, that we do not make the plans, and no matter how much we would love to pave the path, it's not ours to create. I DO trust that God does not give us more than we can handle, and I have faith that we will get through this. I believe that we will have the life we've dreamed.

Thank you for your endless prayers, support and love. You have lifted us up.









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