As we bid farewell to 2011 and waved hello to 2012, we were overcome with emotions over all we have experienced this past year. What a year it has been.
It was, in many ways, the best and the worst year of our life. How can that be? It's just how this year worked out. I hope that 2012 is equally as blessed, yet not remotely as sad.
There are so many moments that we experienced this year in which I will never forget. Some of them, I will cherish forever. Others, unfortunately, will never be erased from my mind,no matter how much I'd like them to. I have learned from each experience. I have become a stronger person. I have survived times I didn't think I would. I have seen compassion, love, and kindness from family, friends, and strangers. I have helped others. I have grown closer to my husband than ever before. I have made priceless friends in the wake of sadness. I have cried. I have laughed. I have felt a love deeper than I even knew existed. I have seen hope.
Again, I hope that 2012 is every bit as sweet, and yet not nearly as heartbreaking as 2011. I pray to God that He continues to walk with us on our journey towards parenthood. I am thankful for His grace, hope and peace He has given me.
On Christmas Eve, we were at church with family. I had held it together well until I was praying silently and the children's choir began to sing Silent Night A Capella. Then, the tears came. They flowed out of my eyes like water, in the middle of church where there were joyful people surrounding us. I felt...a lot of things. I ached because of how deeply I missed Michael and Elijah. I felt peace knowing I will see them again and that they are watching over our family. I felt hope for the future. That pretty much sums up our year. Our hearts are filled with sadness, peace, love and hope. All at once. God is good and has a plan for us. We are living it now, even though it's not the way we pictured it. I still have faith it will be beautiful.
May God bless you and yours in 2012. I will pray for a year filled with health, happiness, peace, love and hope.